forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
