well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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