You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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