her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
