so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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