the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
