Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
