i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
