even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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