I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh god it's open bar.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
