it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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