NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
