found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
