I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
