just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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