I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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