Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
