I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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