i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
