absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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