there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
