i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
