Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
