I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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