cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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