I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We have so much sex to catch up on
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
