I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
