thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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