Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
