whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
