On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
