I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
