the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
