Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
