My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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