from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
