She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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