Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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