You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
