I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
