my vag is so smooth its legendary
and she was petting her beer can
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
