He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
