The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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