apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
