I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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