Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
