Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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