And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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