Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Semi hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free

Fav 18 3483 1474
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...

Fav 9 3586 2081
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.

Fav 7 2755 892
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

Fav 3 1351 771
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...

Fav 12 4348 1198
share tweet
(219): View more from Indiana

This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

Fav 14 1133 919
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast

Fav 3 1204 481
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?

Fav 2 37 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09

Fav 0 13 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT