i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
