Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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