then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you didnt know i had herpes?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
