Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
