so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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