I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
