i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
