i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
