my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
