i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
