I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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