This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol