I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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