I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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